Musings of a Rambling Idiot

10 Years and Six Months.

2010-01-19T10:55:00.004+11:00

This weekend marks some significant milestones, maybe you should come over help celebrate:
• Iris the Virus’s 10th birthday – 10 years ago, a far less depraved and carefree 21 year old medical student met Iris. Culpable parties include Tina Cousins, The Midnight Shift and The Bad Idea Bears. I should also acknowledge that the name Iris the Virus comes from the delightful Paul Kidd.
• My last interferon injection – the last 23ish weeks have been characterised by me plodding my way through the Hepatitis C Treatment experience. I count myself fortunate that I’ve only had to endure 24 weeks of this treatment, and all indicators are on line for it have been successful (ie completely curative for the Hep C). Of course, a lot of this time has been spent with me whining on my couch, avoiding going out, avoiding society and friends and generally being a bit of a heel. Just because a lot of the symptoms aren’t going to magically resolve with my last injection (they probably will hang around for a couple of weeks yet), doesn’t mean I’m not up for a bit of celebrating.

This celebration will likely occur at either a pub or conveniently located flat in Newtown (depending on flatmate) this Friday evening. I’m not anticipating anything large (particularly given the late notice), but if you’d like to drop over for a bevvie (whilst I consume soda water and beer in unequal measure), you’d be more than welcome.

Getting back on the bike

2009-09-30T14:58:00.002+10:00

Like many people I know, life seems to have moved along and left my blogging tendancies behind. Maybe it's my growing use of twitter and/or facebook. Or maybe I'm just a lazy bitch.

Anyways, I'm going to be trying over the next few weeks to come back to this space. Call it a "last ditch" attempt to vomit my inanity on the web for all to see. Or more shameless self promotion or something.

Retail therapy

2008-11-09T10:50:00.003+11:00

Just returned home from a wander down to the Newtown Festival. It's the same old, same old but a bit of fun nonetheless. And I indulged in ultimate Inner West Fag Fetish Wear - a pair of Newtown Jets Footy Shorts.

Mental deficits

2008-11-09T08:13:00.001+11:00

In my brain there is a organ grinding monkey in a vest where good sense should be.

The upward climb

2008-11-08T11:59:00.002+11:00

Finally, after a week of a monster chest infection, things are coming good. The last couple of months, with lots of travel and work related business, have been great - but the cost has been a bit large. Exposure to allergens from too many different cities had my immunoglobins running amok. Creating a little playground in which naughty little bugs could grow.

It's definitely settling down now though, and I'm a bit mobile again. Of course, after the better part of a week down, I'm a bit fragile and ordinary tasks are just that little bit taxing.

Looks like a quiet weekend with more watching of the television and reading of the books. I'm sure it will do me the world of good.

I Ain't Dead!

2008-11-06T09:30:00.002+11:00

Though the last couple of months have been a whirlwind, I think I haven't been blogging for other reasons. Today though, after the renewal of my domain name, I've decided to come back to it. Calloo Callay!

So with any luck (and just a little bit of my own personal volition) this baby will be up and running at full steam any time soon.

Sorry for the radio silence.

Apologies and more photos

2008-08-14T18:07:00.002+10:00

Sorry for the absenteeism - I am typing a bit of a log of my travels, but haven't really prioritised putting it online.

I'll try and find some time before I get back. But now, it's time to relax with friends.

There's a couple more albums on Facebook for those so inclined.

2008-08-01T21:55:00.002+10:00

Okay - so I give myself a night to recharge the batteries and I'm awake at 3 and unable to get to sleep. Of course, the first time I go through my photos with commentary, my hand on the trackpad does some funky thing and I lose everything I'd typed.

The commentary is, as a result, disjointed - I need to go back through it when I have some energy to spare. Today brings the second day of the Leadership Summit and I suspect I'm going to be struggling through some of it.

Caffeine will no doubt prove essential. I think I'll also ask around at some of the Farmacias to see if I can procure a B12 shot. And some pseudoephidrine.

2008-08-01T14:46:00.002+10:00

I've got some photos up on facebook - take a look. I'll update proper when I get the chance, but at the moment it's a case of rush, rush, rush! The plan for tonight is to actually get more than four hours sleep.

For better updates on my trip - I'm twittering with some frequency (which automatically updates my Facebook status).

"The Popocatépetl is not in Canada...

2008-07-29T09:41:00.001+10:00

...rather in Mexico, Mexico, Mexico" (a pre-performance tongue twister; used before UNSW Revues)

And soon, I shall have something in common with the Popocatépetl. No, I won't be a big mountain (regardless of my waistline). I too shall be in Mexico.

I'm heading off my on grand adventure today. I'm all packed (I'm sure I've forgotten something, but no more time to fuss or worry about such things) and about to head to the airport for my first international flight.

At long last, they're letting me out of the country. But will they let me back in?

Next stop: Los Angeles

2008-07-26T11:15:00.000+10:00

So i'm sitting here at this leadership retreat... My last weekend in sydney, and a plethora of other things on my mind. It raises the question, how much is regret a necessary component of leadership?

Almost made it

2008-07-25T08:47:00.002+10:00

It's been a really gruelling couple of weeks, but the end is almost in sight. Today is my last day in the office before I head off overseas. I'll next be back here (for a week) on the 8th of September) and then I'm off to Perth for a bit.

This afternoon, I head out to Wiseman's Ferry for a "Leadership Retreat". I can has navel gazing?

2 weeks and counting...

2008-07-15T11:51:00.003+10:00

I haven't forgotten about this blog, but i have been crazy busy. In two weeks, i fly out to mexico for the International AIDS Conference. Not long after, i'll be on holiday.
I'll be turning 30 overseas! I'll get to offend people with my mangled use of spanish. I'll have an adventure!
I just have to get through the next two weeks...

A lesson from Blanche DuBois

2008-06-26T21:19:00.002+10:00

Yesterday, after a discussion about the wonder that is An Unfinished Song, I decided to try and hunt for a copy of the cast recording of the soundtrack (as a gift for a friend). It shames me to admit this, but I was unsuccessful in finding a copy for sale on the Interwebs.

I did however, find a blog wherein a fabulous and wonderful gentleman had posted about the soundtrack (quite recently too). A quick email later, and I will soon be in possession of a copy of this wonderful music.

Mega props go to Glenn from Pen and Ink, for his generosity towards a stranger!

Exam time

2008-06-17T11:15:00.001+10:00

One piece of assessment to go and the semester will be done. An exam. I'm all studied up and ready to go.

However, I think I'm starting to get neuropathy in my right fingers. Note to self: get that checked this week.

The tyranny of the urgent

2008-06-05T10:32:00.001+10:00

My leg didn't fall off (I thought it good to start with the good news), though it did get worse (to the point of requiring multiple injections of antibiotics). I'm now frantically trying to get all my assessment done for this semester, alongside the growing mountain of work that seems to be thrown my way.

Ahh, the tyranny of the urgent. Making decisions simple.

Cellulitis watch

2008-05-30T10:40:00.003+10:00

It always amazes me how much frighteningly banal and personal information people are willing to share on the internet. Let me add to my own fear, but giving you an update on my leg.

I've re-drawn on the red and yellow lines, and added a new black line. The pain has gone down a notch (thankfully), though it now lives with an uncomfortable itch sensation (which I assume is healing in progress). It's still quite warm, and looks a lot bigger now. That said, I really think that the antibiotics I started taking yesterday are working.

Stay tuned for more extraneous and superfluous information on my latest infection.

I has an owie!

2008-05-29T12:04:00.004+10:00

My leg is sore. Normally I'd suspect a simple bruise or other result of my innate clumsiness. This time however, I'm not so sure. I noticed it abruptly last night (intense pain in the flesh of the leg, and it hurts to bear weight and walk) and took a look. A hot (as in temperature) red patch had come up, and was starting to swell a bit too. For some reason (my innate hypochondria) I traced the margin of the red area in black pen (which I've had to re-draw in red, because I showered).

It's still really sore. And really hot. And has grown over the last twelve or so hours (now traced in blue). The sore part extends for up to an inch around the margin too (really painful, even to gentle touch without pressure).

My leg: the colour is a bit washed out because of the flash, but you can see the pen markings clearly enough

So it's a case of "Jase goes off to the Doctor" today. Groan.

2008-05-27T13:15:00.001+10:00

Spotted in the 'Gong. Conference oysters.

I have no comment at this time.

Live from the 'Gong

2008-05-26T16:34:00.006+10:00

I'm in Wollongong for a conference over the next couple of days. Of course, the workload hasn't abated so I anticipate spending a fair bit of my time permanently affixed to my laptop trying to multitask.

I did manage to score a lovely room with a view, so I thought I'd share some piccies here.

Riding the wave.

2008-05-19T14:44:00.003+10:00

I found out on Saturday that a friend died. I hadn't seen him in quite a while, we shagged a couple of times; used to hang out quite a bit and then kind of grew apart. He was an amazingly clever and busy person. In fact, it was his ability to "do" much continually challenged me (at various points in my life) to try and find ways of "doing more" myself.

I'm finding it hard to sit at my desk today and ride the wave (I think I remember him once describing the experience of being carried along by so many events, and trying to steer course through gentle pressure with that analogy) of my life today without thinking of him.

I wonder if he drowned?

Je Ne Regrette Rien

2008-05-15T08:03:00.001+10:00

Oh god! What the f#@$ have I done to myself this time?

I think that there can be little argument over my commitment to the art of 'bad decision' making. If you look through my past, you won't need to dig far to find evidence of some stellar miscalculations.

Today, I think, is in my top ten. Or should that be last night?

And it all started with an innocuous 1cm square piece of cardboard. I'm failing the litmus test for sanity as we speak.

In my own defence, I was seeing a Med Revue last night.

Best laid plans.

2008-05-13T08:01:00.002+10:00

So I head overseas at the end of July. And now I'm stuck in a whole new world of administrata; passports, visas, travel plans. My ultimate plan is to stay overseas until the end of August. Burning Man is conveniently timetabled for August 25. Any takers?

Stressed out of my happy gourd

2008-05-01T20:59:00.002+10:00

So back to last week.

Wednesday was an awesome day. It started with the happiest of happy things - a staff meeting. Wherein I get to show a recent episode of South Park as part of the proceedings. The episode where Cartman gets AIDS. FTW!

I come home to find out that my rent has only increased by $20/week (trust me, this minor increase is a GREAT thing. And they've automatically sent us a new 12 month lease at this new amount).

As the sun goes down, I find out that work are sending me to a conference in August. In Mexico!

I will be turning thirty in Mexico! I will finally have left Australian shores and gone somewhere else. I'm sooo taking a holiday.

Oh, and Wednesday was my last day of work before I had a six day weekend.

Now, I'm back at work. Stressed out of my gourd. I've got a metric crapload of stuff to do; and have just finished an onslaught of assignments (for uni) and various other bits and pieces. But as I head up to sleep in the next hour, I'll be trying to learn a bit of spanish before I get to sleep. And in my dreams, I'll hear myself saying "Uno mas cervezas per favor!"

I am happy.

2008-04-25T17:59:00.000+10:00

Details to follow.

Study joys

2008-04-21T16:50:00.003+10:00

Over lunch today:
CT: "What's your assignment on?"
Me: "Epidemiology"
CT: "Skin?"
Me: "That would be derma... You heard epidermatology."
CT: "I totally heard that"
Me: "That's hawt."

Right this very moment, listening to an online lecture:
A/Prof Alex Barratt (through my computer): "Notice that epidemiology isn't a post-modern subject, it assumes there is a truth."

I totally love science snark. It's full of win. I'm also loving the newsreaderly tones of A/Prof Barratt (or Alex, as I affectionately call her when she speaks through my computer (whose name is Bertha). She's bringing her A-game to the online lectures; plenty of wonderful vocal modulation and some lovely phrasing here and there.

I'm hoping for more science snark though.

a quick test

2008-04-16T09:27:00.000+10:00

Hopefully, I've just tinkered with the settings on my blog so that this will go straight to livejournal (for my LJ friends).

I say it best, when I say nothing at all...

2008-04-16T08:44:00.006+10:00

(Apologies for the Ronan Keating reference)

By and large, this has (so far) been a year of hitting stride, finding pace, gaining momentum and all those other exciting "dynamic" terms. Of course, I have (finally) realised how thoroughly and insensibly overcommitted I really am. After all, who would have thought that a Masters would involve 'actual' work. Quelle horreur!

All of which go some way to explaining why I've not been the most attentive blogger. But naturally, that's not the whole truth. There's been plenty happening outside of the banal overcommitment stuff; but I haven't been writing about that. And why not?

I guess, for some of it, I've hit that point of discomfortable disclosure. I'm not ready to talk about some of what's going on in my little noggin for fear of prematurely (and negatively)affecting the outcome. This isn't special, or remarkable, it's quite a common reason why people choose not to share their thoughts.

The other reason is that to blog about my relationships with, and to, other people. People who sometimes read this blog, or talk to people who do. And there's been a lot of movement, change and growth in that area over the last year. Regardless of the reasons for it, I figure it's crass to discuss this stuff while it is happening, with identifying information, in public.

So how to cross this bridge? A quick analysis of the three conditions of the last sentence should yield some solutions.

It's crass to discuss this stuff:

while it is happening - so maybe I post about things here, after they've passed into the comfortable realms of memory and posterity. And sometimes, I do that.
with identifying information - so it's okay to talk about someone, if it's codified to the point of anonymity. I've been known to do this too. Of course, this doesn't work so well when the you also want to perhaps prevent offense/upset to the person you're writing about.
in public - something I think I've alluded to here, and certainly in conversations, is my 'secret' blog. A public document, but so codified and identifier-removed as to be (hopefully) impossible to determine where, or by whom, it's been written. Oddly enough, though I've never linked to it (nor would I), it's got a couple of regular readers.

And strangely enough (or not), at the moment, my first instinct when it comes to blogging is to write something for the secret blog. Because even though I'm one of the most self-centred, egoistic bastards you'll ever meet; sometimes even I value a bit of privacy.

That said there are a couple of things playing in mind at the moment, which I'll note here and explore later.

"Squee!!1!" and "Slitsies"

A picture tells a thousand BAD words!

2008-04-07T14:09:00.002+10:00

From ninemsn.com

The price of control is the occasional loss of it...

2008-04-07T10:05:00.003+10:00

For reasons I can never fully comprehend, chaos is always my 'resting' state. This is true regardless of how much I work at developing a more 'ordered' life. And last week was another textbook lesson of this. Mormolyke has already quoted from Yeats 'The Second Coming', a poem never far from my mind (because I am an emo bitch, natch!). And by Thursday last week, as a couple of conveniently forgotten home truths began to sink in again, I felt the mere anarchy loosed on the world.

It's terrifying.

As a result I spent my weekend at home, safely (if unhealthily) ensconced in front of the television and the computer. I indulged in some comfort television (good ole Alias - home of the real SpyDaddy) and geekery (reformatted the computer, played around with a new dual boot set up and generally tweaked for hours).

I'm totally down with the avoidance behaviour.

Overheard in my life

2008-03-26T09:43:00.001+11:00

"Have you met my neighbour, the brain damaged transexual?"

More of the wonderful La Pequena!

2008-03-25T15:01:00.000+11:00

Edumacational

2008-03-25T08:30:00.000+11:00

Overheard in my life (well, it's actually a phone conversation at work today)

2008-03-19T14:12:00.002+11:00

DR X: I want YOU to explain why AFAO (my workplace) has a position statement not supporting circumcision as a HIV prevention strategy.
ME: Umm, well-
DR X: Why are you ignoring Scientific Research and being completely irresponsible. I'm calling YOU to account.
ME: Well, you need to-
DR X: Do you even read the research?
ME: You seem really engaged with this; can I ask what your connection to this issue is?
DR X: I'm a scientific research and a medical person.
ME: A medical person?
DR X: Yes.
ME: Are you a medical practitioner or clinician in this area?
DR X: No, not exactly.
ME: Can I ask what you do?
DR X: I'm a vet.
ME: A veterinarian?
DR X: Yes, and a veterinary researcher. It doesn't matter. What matters is why you're ignoring the science and not supporting circumcision.
ME: Do you know anything about social research and HIV Dr X?
DR X: No, of course not. What does that have to do with it.

Loving my friends...

2008-03-19T08:34:00.003+11:00

I got sent this in an email yesterday from one of my nearest and dearest:

2 Important Points:

1) I have started reading A LOT
of Stephen King.
Help Me.

2) I no longer use the word "Gay" or "Fag", in any context. Reason? I was out with Dxxxx, having a coffee in Da Cross, when six young bogans, with too much gel in their hair, walked passed, laughed at me and Dxxxx, and called us Fags. Now, I have no problem with being a man for men, but the way in which they used it, as a insult, as a mark of my inferiority, caused me not to feel anger, but RAGE.
Also, there is no way these gutless turds would have said anything if they did not have numerical superiority. Dxxxx had to spend 10 minutes getting me to chill, after I said a few words and then got up to have a chat with "the boys".
So, moral of the story? Just because you have cool gay friends and a penchant for social subversion using the twin tools of crudity and vulgarity, it does give you carte blanche for using terms that incite RAGE.

I love my friends.

Anyone know a good cure for the reading of Stephen King? My only cure involves an axe. (The file is safe to download, and has contains an mp3 of one of my fave quotes of the moment.)

In other news at hand, I am insensible with overcommitment.

But wait, there's more...

2008-03-10T12:33:00.000+11:00

Absolutely nothing I do will make this right...

2008-03-10T12:25:00.001+11:00

On reflection

2008-03-06T17:39:00.002+11:00

For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with the pace and direction of my own life. This has been a long time coming and has been something I've had to work at. In some ways I've had to be ruthless in prioritising my energies but the dividends are remarkable. I've had my first CD4 count in the "normal" range and followed it up with a number I thought I'd never see (700). I've started postgraduate studies, I've quit smoking, I'm living well, I'm achieving more than I ever thought I would.

Maybe I'm manic? I don't care. Just keep it coming.

Total Eclipse of the Gay Heart

2008-02-28T08:52:00.001+11:00

So the lip synching isn't the best - I still find out lol funny. It is a bit on the long side tho'

I'm Zoolander?

2008-02-14T06:20:00.002+11:00

Yesterday, on the way to Canberra (for non-Apology related matters), I became afflicted with a terrible nausea. At first I thought it might be related to the night I'd had before, but it continued to intensify until it felt like my spine also wanted to purge.

We made it as far as Cambell-"abandon all hope, ye who enter here"-town before it became a race to find a pharmacy to grab something for it. This proved more complex than it normally would have, but managed to get my hands on some metclopramide, and we continued (after a little break) on our way.

Unfortunately, the nausea seemed to regroup; and came back with some really interesting dizziness/vertigo. We ended up turning back, because there was no way that I was going to make it AND be useful for a day and a half.

By this morning, I've got the vertigo (which often, but not always, prompts the nausea now) down to one gesture. Turning my head towards the left rapidly sets it off. Looks like a case of labyrinthitis (which is a cool word) and will hopefully get good in a couple of days. Meanwhile I, like Derek Zoolander, am not an ambiturner. I cannot turn left.

Some errant thoughts on the Apology

2008-02-13T19:42:00.005+11:00

First of all, time to get the important issue out of the road. K-Rudd is a robot! I feel somewhat vindicated that my dire predictions of 'Robot Overlords' have come to pass.

I liked the Apology itself (though I'm prepared to have my mind changed by people who know more about these things than I do); to me it certainly appeared meaningful and reflective. I found myself affected by it; both when I read the text on the Sydney Morning Herald website this morning and again when our Robot Overlord read it out with his Robot Crowd Control Unit - Sonic Pacifying Voicebox (Guaranteed to sedate even the most frisky organics!)

It's a shame then, that K-Rudd's speech in support of the Apology was (in my mind) a depressing counterpoint to the Symbolic. I don't know what it is about Australian political speechwriters; but it appears that the Labor Party have given the art of speechifying the Last Rites and moved towards a speech constructed by media consultants. It was banal in the sheer audacity of shameless Labor Policy Platform self promotion. Today, of all days, where K-Rudd and the Labor party would reap an almost unprecdented level of populist support; there was no need for more political product placement. Which is what most of Labor's policy documents still appear to be.

To K-Rudd's (speechwriter's) credit, he/she/they/it certainly gazumped Nelson at every opportunity. I almost felt sorry for the 'small businessman' (what else would you call the turncoat Doctor who ended up Minister for Defence) as he continued reading a speech that was offensive to many, irrelevant and poorly constructed. There were even a couple of pathetic attempts to dog-whistle (a skill John Howard demonstrated masterfully) which added flavour and texture to the vocal abortion that was the 'Leader of the Opposition's Response'. I doubt that he'll have the leadership for much longer after this, and what I way to leave an indelible mark in the annals of history; with a speech that will be remembered for it's stupidity, offensiveness and irrelevance.

But finally, FINALLY, the 'hardest word to say' has finally been said. The importance of this event goes beyond the symbolic; it's hard not to get affected by the feeling and emotion that this one act - this one little word - evokes/carries/represents. Apologies are important (if they are sincere and meaningful) because they imply change in intention, change in knowledge, change in practice. These changes AREN'T symbolic; they're fundamental to a process where we can affect change for the better.

So apparently I'm 2:11 am?

2008-02-07T08:41:00.001+11:00

Random Friday Research

2008-02-01T11:12:00.001+11:00

It's Friday. I'm at work. And whilst I do have things to do, I thought I'd take a quick break out of my day to discover what 'low-carb' actually means in terms of beer. I'll admit, I've fallen for low-carb beers; I've switched to Pure Blonde for a variety of reasons (the taste, the name, the low-carb, the crispness) and I've frequently wondered is it really a more sensible choice for the diet conscious.

Of course, not drinking beer at all would be the MOST sensible choice for the diet conscious, but that's not the point of this research. So, let's carry on, shall we...

METHOD:
Using www.food.com.au I will find nutritional information on a variety of beers and wines and list them below. As this is a scientific experiment (albeit one conducted without a laboratory, and perhaps more a meta-analysis of previously published data) I shall standardise the unit of measurement to be one schooner (425 mL).

I will then perform two primary analyses on the collected data. Using statistical software (Windows XP Calculator) I shall determine the calories per unit volume and the calories per gram alcohol for direct comparison between beverages.

RESULTS:
One Schooner (425 ml) of Pure Blonde (4.6% alcohol) contains:
Calories 128 cals
Kilojoules 536 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 3.8 g
Cholesterol -
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 15.3 g
Calories/Volume = 30.1 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 8.37 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Victoria Bitter (4.9% alcohol) contains:
Calories 170 cals
Kilojoules 714 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 13.2 g
Cholesterol -
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 16.6 g
Calories/Volume = 40.0 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 10.24 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Hahn Premium Light (2.7 % alcohol) contains:
Calories 119 cals
Kilojoules 506 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 13.2 g
Cholesterol -
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 9.4 g
Calories/Volume = 28 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 12.65 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Carlton Draught (4.6%) contains:
Calories 157 cals
Kilojoules 659 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 11.5 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 15.3 g
Calories/Volume = 36.9 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 10.26 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Coopers Pale Ale (4.5%) contains:
Calories 149 cals
Kilojoules 616 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 7.0 g
Cholesterol -
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre -
Alcohol 17.4 g
Calories/Volume = 35.1 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 8.56 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Coopers Sparkling Ale (5.8%) contains:
Calories 187 cals
Kilojoules 786 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 8.9 g
Cholesterol -
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre -
Alcohol 21.7 g
Calories/Volume = 44.0 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 8.61 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Hahn Super Dry (4.9%) contains:
Calories 128 cals
Kilojoules 536 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars -
Carbohydrates 3.8 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Protein 0 g
Sodium -
Fibre -
Alcohol 14.9 g
Calories/Volume = 30.1 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 8.59 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Dry White Wine (avg.) contains:
Calories 287 cals
Kilojoules 1,201 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars 0 g
Carbohydrates 3.5 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Protein 0 g
Sodium 96 mg
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 39.0 g
Calories/Volume = 67.5 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 7.36 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Sparkling White Wine (avg.) contains:
Calories 336 cals
Kilojoules 1,399 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars 15.9 g
Carbohydrates 15.9 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Protein 0 g
Sodium 96 mg
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 39.0 g
Calories/Volume = 79.1 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 8.62 cal/g

One Schooner (425 mL) of Red Wine (avg.) contains:
Calories 283 cals
Kilojoules 1,186 kJ
Total Fats 0 g
Sugars 2.7 g
Carbohydrates 2.7 g
Cholesterol 0 mg
Protein 0 g
Sodium 99 mg
Fibre 0 g
Alcohol 39.0 g
Calories/Volume = 66.6 cal/100 mL
Calories/Weight Alcohol = 7.25 cal/g

CONCLUSION:
For the thirsty person who is diet conscious, but wants a beer Pure Blonde or Hahn Premium Light are the way to go (in terms of calories per unit volume).
For the incipient drunk who is diet conscious, but wants a beer Pure Blonde is best, followed by Coopers Pale Ale then Hahn Super Dry then Coopers Sparkling.
For the incipient drunk who is diet conscious but not fussed about beer - wine (or better yet pure spirits) are the go.
Also, the statistics have determined that Red Wine is the devils drink. Remember, people lie but numbers don't!

Radio Silence

2008-02-01T10:24:00.000+11:00

Over the last couple of weeks, I've decided that minimising contact with family was a necessity. Nothing dramatic happened, I've just decided that the differences in opinion and viewpoint are creating more tension than the relationship is worth. I've included my sister in this after she made clear that she "wanted to stay out of it".

My sister called today and asked if I was being short with her. I explained that I didn't have anything to say, and that yes, I was being short (but polite with her). I explained that it was a result of her wanting to 'stay out of it'. Before I could explain that this was my respecting her wishes, she yelled down the phone and promptly hung up. Possibly at the same time, so great was her frustration. "BLAH BLAH BL[click]..."

The following email then arrived a couple of minutes later:

From: Jason's Sister
Sent: Friday, 1 February 2008 9:30 AM
To: Jason Appleby
Subject: [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

I never got the email (If you remember correctly, was not a recipent). I was not involved with it, I have only seen it on your website. Stop trying to enlist me into the I-Hate-Dad bandwagon.

I told you that I wanted to stay out of it, and you couldn't respect that!

Your both as immature as each other!

My reply follows:

From: Jason Appleby
Sent: Friday, 1 February 2008 10:15 AM
To: Jason's Sister
Subject: RE: [SEC=UNCLASSIFIED]

I am not 'getting you into' anything. I have no intention of discussing my opinions regarding alcoholism or racism with anyone in this family. I've made my opinion on these topics abundantly clear. You 'wanted to stay out of it' and I respected your request. You could learn to do the same for me.

I set my boundaries with people as I see necessary. I choose to minimise my contact with people for a variety of reasons. Critical differences of opinion certainly require that I set clear boundaries. I will not through my actions (or lack thereof) support, condone or act in aid of any behaviours I find ethically repugnant. This is my right, and whilst I don't expect you to like it, I do expect you to respect it. I'm not the person making you upset, or throwing recriminations around. I have not set out to make you feel bad. In fact, I've done the opposite. How you choose to react to a hurt that you engendered is your responsibility.

On a final note, it's not my responsibility to educate people who should know better, to deal with your emotional outbursts, or to support people in actions I disagree with. I'm not trying to enlist anyone into anything. Nor am I trying to convince you, or anyone else, of anything. My thoughts on this matter have been communicated. I don't require, or desire, anything further from anyone regarding these issues.

With that in mind, I'm going to remind you to respect my decision to withdraw from unnecessary contact with family. This includes, as it must, you.

2008-01-29T07:35:00.000+11:00

Scanning boingboing.net today, I find a story on this.

In 2004 Dmitriy Plaks and several of his fellow students at the University of West Georgia tested whether sound waves can douse fires in hopes of using sound to extinguish flames in a spacecraft. They placed a candle in a large topless chamber with three bass speakers attached to the walls. The candle was lit and the Canadian rock band Nickelback's "How you remind me" was pumped through the subwoofers. Within roughly 10 seconds, once the song hit a low note, the flame was out, according to results published in 2005 in The Journal of the Acoustical Society of America.

Of course, you could read this story and believe in their so called 'science'. My preferred explanation for this phenomenon relies on the fact that when I hear Nickelback I also want to die. I submit to you, gentle readers, that what this 'experiment' really demonstrates is that fire is a living thing with a clear sense of self which possesses a modicum of musical taste.

I'm not sure if they've conducted this experiment with primates, but I suspect the result would be the same. Death in less than ten seconds.

This experiment also explains why I seem to get burned a lot; it furthers our understandings of resistentialism.

500 and rising...

2008-01-28T11:53:00.000+11:00

Welcome to my home! (but the parody gold is HERE - props to MattG)

But seriously this is my five-hundredth post. And to celebrate: a new personal best CD4 count - 730 (my last result was 510, and over 560 is normal).

It's remarkable how it all comes together sometimes. The last six months have been particularly challenging, gruelling even, and I've made some hard choices. For the first time (in a long time, if not ever) I made looking after my long term health a solid priority (not necessarily my short term health; that would make for a boring blog). Some of my friends never really got it, and have fallen by the way. But the pay-offs have been huge.

I'm planning for a long term future. I'm more motivated than I have been in years. I'm productive. I'm sleeping well. I'm (for lack of a better word) content (with most things, most of the time).

Okay, I'm content for certain definitions of content, in certain circumstances.

It'll do.

Haircut by Children - A photo-narrative

2008-01-20T12:57:00.000+11:00

"The Before Shot"

"Last minute lessons - How to use the clippers"
Notice the girl on the far left turned away from the instructing adult (far right). Her name is Emma. She was my stylist for this appointment.

"Appearance and Liability Waiver"
It's a bit blurry but you should be able to make out that I "assume responsibility for, and risk of, damage or bodily injury that may occur as a result of my participation in this performance."

"It begins..."
Emma will start sixth grade this year. Her motivations for participating in the event are complex - she is "interested in hair dressing" and "bored" (It's school holiday time over here).

"Negotiation"
Emma was very keen to just shave off my hair (with the clippers on one) and then enscribe her initials in the side of my head.

"Reinforcements"
Sometimes they're neccessary. I couldn't talk from here on in, as my stylists decided that my beard needed trimming.

"The After Shot - (front)"
>"The After Shot - rear"
Notice the lovely sculptural quality at the base of my neck. The manifestion of this design element coincided with an unforgettable utterance by Emma - "Oops!"

You can see the complete album of all the photos taken by my camera on the day here

2008 - International Year of 'Pooning the (Awkard) Turtle

2008-01-09T13:29:00.001+11:00

('Pooning is short for Harpooning, and has little or nothing to do with Yvonne or Bridget, except a funny mental image)

A couple more days of holiday left and a couple of moments of quiet reflection. I'm going to be busy. Busier than last year. Insanely, stupidly, GLORIOUSLY, busy. I've taken on an extra Board appointment in addition to my continuing work at Positive Life (formerly PLWHA). I'm working full-time and I've just put in my application for a Masters in Public Health at University of Sydney.

Racist Sh!tstirring

2008-01-07T13:22:00.001+11:00

Seems like my dad is falling back into old ways. First the drinking, then I receive this in my email:

FW:It's Our Country
Australia- The Right to Leave
Our Country - YOU Have the right - the right to leave !
After Sydney not wanting to offend other cultures by putting up Xmas lights.
After hearing that the State of South Australia changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's license with her face covered.
This prompted this editorial written by an Australian citizen. Published in an Australian newspaper.
Quote:
IMMIGRANTS, NOT AUSTRALIANS, MUST ADAPT. Take It Or Leave It !I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Bali, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Australians.
However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others. I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to Australia.
However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.
This idea of Australia being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Australians, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle.
This culture has been developed over two centuries of struggles, trials and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.
We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Lebanese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become partof our society, Learn the language!
"In God We Trust" is our National Motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest youconsider another part of the world as your new home, Because God is part of our culture.
If the Southern Cross offends you, or you don't like " A Fair Go", then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet.
We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, And we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
This is OUR COUNTRY, OUR LAND, and OUR LIFESTYLE, and we will allow you every opportunity to enjoy all this.
But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about Our Flag, Our Pledge, Our National Motto, or Our Way of Life, I highly encourageyou take advantage of one other great Australian freedom,
"THE RIGHT TO LEAVE"
If you aren't happy here then f#@* off! We didn't force you to come here. You asked to be here. So accept the country YOU accepted. Pretty easy really, when you think about it.
I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends (and enemies) it will also, sooner or later get back to the complainers, lets all try, please.
No matter how many times you receive it... please forward it to all you know .

Good stuff, eh? It's not like I needed further proof that my dad is a fucktard, and the temptation was certainly there to lash out with some good old fashion e-Scorn but I couldn't really imagine that working. Abusing the small-minded is fun, but doesn't really help matters. I've decided instead on a more 'educational' response - I guess he won't forward email anymore without using the BCC function. I chose to 'Reply All' and don't imagine I'll get much of a response from this:

Dad,
Your email forward is neither appreciated nor correct. We live in a democracy, where civilisation is advanced because of the discussion between differing viewpoints and perspectives. Telling people to bugger off because they don't agree with you may work in a military state. However in this place and at this time the message you've forwarded comes across as small minded, racist and (despite any claim to the contrary) ridiculously right wing.
The world we live in is not perfect, but using coercion to silence those who disagree with you is not the solution.
Regards, Jason

Knowing my father as I do, a little bit of public shaming (from his son, no less) might have a better effect than any private discussion I could choose to have with him. A discussion I don't want to, nor care to, have.

Surfing Home

2008-01-07T12:45:00.000+11:00

I've been back in Sydney for a couple of days after a very wet and rainy trip to Lismore. We left Lismore the day before the flooding began, and the rain seemed to follow us down the coast. I've got this week off too, my big task for the week is to sort out enrolment in a Masters.

Pre-Party Adventures

2007-12-31T12:00:00.000+11:00

Ah, Lismore. How I love it here. Sure, there may be a small cyclone thing off the coast of QLD that's bringing crap weather, but I don't care - it's holiday time!

Today is a day of pottering, and bits and pieces; maybe a trip out to Nimbin. I've already been to the dentist for emergency repairs to a filling - finding one was the hardest part.

A couple of hours left till party time. Huzzah!

We're all going on a Summer Holiday

2007-12-29T10:55:00.000+11:00

It's day two of the Trop Fruits Road Trip for 2007. We left yesterday morning at 4am. The moderate discomfort of such a timetable was more than made up by the traffic blockages we managed to avoid. We're still in Coffs (we go up to Lismore tomorrow), and have the house to ourselves. This is a good thing.

So today, some beach time, a drive up to Bellingen and Dorrigo and general Wii goodness (Becky bought herself a Wii yesterday).

I love holidays!

Yuletide reflections

2007-12-25T21:21:00.000+11:00

There's only one really - I have grown up.

It's over with RR - Christmas soured rapidly this afternoon. It degenerated rapidly into drama (which I didn't want), personal attacks (which I will not tolerate) and general poor behaviour. It's not all bad news though; I've now realised that I have grown up. I have boundaries, particularly in relationships, that I'd never tested, and have now realised.

I was falling in love/had fallen in love with RR (I know - I'm a lovesick fool, no need for a lecture), which makes tonight bittersweet. His behaviour of the last two hours makes me doubt (as it must) the sincerity of his affection. Over the last hour, I have endured his attempts to hurt/manipulate me - I'm morally empty, I'm immature, I've got no idea, I'm a liar etc etc. I've been called a drama queen and I've listened to history being reinvented as I listen.

If only that were true - RR and I might have an emotionally tumutuous and immature, not to mention short lived, romance ahead of us.

Instead I have regret and a future full of possibilities. Still hurts though.

Odds and sods

2007-12-20T08:53:00.000+11:00

I'm really looking forward to this - I hope I'll have enough guts at the time to tell whoever cuts my hair to "go wild"
Anyone want a rat for Christmas? - I just picture rats in capes. Can't help myself.
Setting the scene for 2Girls1Cup - full of win
lolcat of the day

DARK VENGEANCE SSSSSSS!!

2007-12-20T07:40:00.000+11:00

Only two days left to some hard earned holiday time, and it can't come soon enough. I've taken up a new vocal tic which I've been having fun belting out for no reason whatsoever (anyone remember 'Cobras!'?). Dark Vengeance Ssssssss!!!

Wanna know what a purple nurple is?

In other news am back with RR. Which is good - I'm really into him; and he managed all the high drama relatively rapidly (which is also good). He's a geniunely lovely and good human being (and the fact that I find him ridiculously sexy is just bonus).

2007-12-18T19:30:00.000+11:00

I Am A: Lawful Good Elf Sorcerer (5th Level)

Ability Scores:

Strength-15

Dexterity-15

Constitution-13

Intelligence-19

Wisdom-13

Charisma-19

Alignment:
Lawful Good A lawful good character acts as a good person is expected or required to act. He combines a commitment to oppose evil with the discipline to fight relentlessly. He tells the truth, keeps his word, helps those in need, and speaks out against injustice. A lawful good character hates to see the guilty go unpunished. Lawful good is the best alignment you can be because it combines honor and compassion. However, lawful good can be a dangerous alignment because it restricts freedom and criminalizes self-interest.

Race:
Elves are known for their poetry, song, and magical arts, but when danger threatens they show great skill with weapons and strategy. Elves can live to be over 700 years old and, by human standards, are slow to make friends and enemies, and even slower to forget them. Elves are slim and stand 4.5 to 5.5 feet tall. They have no facial or body hair, prefer comfortable clothes, and possess unearthly grace. Many others races find them hauntingly beautiful.

Class:
Sorcerers are arcane spellcasters who manipulate magic energy with imagination and talent rather than studious discipline. They have no books, no mentors, no theories just raw power that they direct at will. Sorcerers know fewer spells than wizards do and acquire them more slowly, but they can cast individual spells more often and have no need to prepare their incantations ahead of time. Also unlike wizards, sorcerers cannot specialize in a school of magic. Since sorcerers gain their powers without undergoing the years of rigorous study that wizards go through, they have more time to learn fighting skills and are proficient with simple weapons. Charisma is very important for sorcerers; the higher their value in this ability, the higher the spell level they can cast.

Find out What Kind of Dungeons and Dragons Character Would You Be?,

It's totally fcuked up but...

2007-12-17T15:41:00.001+11:00

"Fourth Date Fallout" or "I know how to quit you"

2007-12-17T08:21:00.000+11:00

I had my fourth date with RR on Friday. I caught up with him and his best friend for a couple of beers and a night in. His best friend (who I will attribute HK) is an odd little thing - she's a tiny slip of a Maori girl, and quite obviously loves her best friend RR. Apparently HK and RR catch up once a month, they go shopping, get drunk, talk and she stays over (as opposed to her normal life with her partner).

It started off well. The conversation was fine, we all seemed to get along well. For me it was interesting seeing the dynamic between the two of them especially given the length of their friendship (fourteen years).

Once back at RR's things started to get 'uncomfortable'. HK in particular was hitting the piss quite hard. Her behaviour in general was a bit frightful too - food throwing, belligerent conversation. RR seemed to be taking it in his stride, but I was starting to regret being trapped with a car after a couple of beers. I switched to water, but given that I'd already consumed five drinks, I was going to be stuck there for the next couple of hours.

And then it got very Awkward Turtle.

HK started taking me aside to say things like "You know that there's someone else don't you?" and "I really like you, but you're going to end up like the others". It was really strange and perturbing behaviour. I managed to shake off drunk HK and take myself for a bit of a walk.

The Fag/Fag Hag relationship can be a funny (but not ha-ha funny) thing. It was becoming increasingly evident that this particular dyadic relationship (is that an tautology?) was tending to the pathological. I spent maybe twenty minutes thinking through what had happened so far on my 'fourth date' and headed back wishing it were eleven o'clock so I could head home.

There were other moments of intense Awkward Turtle that night, a lot of which aren't making a lot of sense, so I'll skip to the next day. The only really significant event is that I finally had enough and demanded to know what was going on, which evolved into a conversation where I was convinced I should stay. The other significant point of concern was that RR would be oblivious to how poorly his friend was behaving to me up until I started calling them both on the bullshit.

I wake up at RR's. RR professes embarrassment over his friend's actions. HK cracks open a beer for breakfast. I head home.

A couple of hours later, RR calls me up very distressed. He'd had a huge row with HK. As he relates it, he had told HK about my HIV status and she wasn't happy about it. She'd used the line "it's like holding a loaded gun to your head" and then told him that she had been deliberately sabotaging things for his own good. She then told him that she was going to call his mother and family and let them know how stupid he was being. She of course, then made that phone call.

So the rest of the weekend was full of drama. None of it mine. And all of it deeply hurtful and offensive. I'd tried to point out to RR that whilst I understood his predicament, none of it really had anything to do with 'me'. Unfortunately RR kept framing things as a choice between me (the guy he'd been dating for a couple of weeks) and his family (particularly when he was told that he wasn't welcome at his family's Christmas do). Too much fucking drama!

I pointed out that the real issue was between his capacity to make his own decisions versus the wishes/opinions etc of his family and close friends. But the drama continued.

So yesterday afternoon I let RR 'off the hook' so to speak.

Small changes...

2007-12-13T17:57:00.001+11:00

I haven't written much (read: anything) about the recent change in government. For my entire adult (up until recently at least), I've lived under a Howard government. I'll freely admit that over the last couple of years the idea of leaving the country and moving somewhere else had become more and more attractive. Whilst I of course hoped that things would be different with him gone, the cynic in me wouldn't allow me to get too excited.

Of course, the last couple of weeks have been very promising; Kyoto has been ratified (better late than pregnant) and ministers have been out and about doing homework. There are words in the air about removing discrimination according to the HREOC Same-Sex report (hopefully sooner, rather than later) and there are (apparently) preparations for an apology to our Indigenous people. And whilst this shouldn't seem remarkable, we even have a female as Acting Prime Minister for a couple of days.

And finally, I look in my Mardi Gras Festival Guide yesterday and see for the first time a message of support from the Prime Minister himself. It's the 30th anniversary of Mardi Gras, and after asking around at work, it appears that this is a first too.

It's only a couple of weeks, but it's a helluva good start.

Cowboys and Coroners

2007-12-11T12:56:00.000+11:00

I spoke to Mum yesterday afternoon, after she identified Jeanette's body. In fact, she sounded a lot better than I thought she would - perhaps it helped frame and shape her 'goodbye'.

I've also had my third date with RR. We're comfortable together (which is nice), and he's a very sexy man. We watched "the Golden Girls". It was full of win.

Good days and bad days are sometimes only moments apart

2007-12-08T22:28:00.000+11:00

Last night was my last AGM for the season. The meeting went well, and afterwards I was suffused with that fantastic feeling of euphoria and relief that marks the end of a lot of hard work and busyness.

This morning I was met with awful news. My mother's best friend, and one of the longest friends my family has had passed away during the week. I think that this news would be, in and of itself, enough to seriously upset my mother. Jeanette was my mother's only real support and advocate several years ago when my family disintegrated (again) due to Dad's drinking and rage issues.

Jeanette and Mum had a lot of common life experiences and had been friends for over twenty five years. Jeanette (like mum) had married an Army man prone to alcoholism and serious emotional issues. Since divorcing her husband and finding her relationship with her son seriously damaged, Jeanette had lived and worked in a variety of places (wherever she could find work in Community Care services). These places were sometimes quite isolating for Jeanette; places like Kalgoorlie, Cairns, Townsville. The divorce hadn't gone in Jeanette's favour, and she found herself having to work more hours than was better for her (she had a chronic health condition).

So it's no suprise that Jeanette spent the last couple of years managing depression. Apparently she recently changed her medication and was complaining to the doctor that it wasn't right (I'm not sure of the details). She'd said as much to mum last week. Three days ago she suicided at her home (the body was only found today).

My mother is a wreck over this - she's trying to cope with feelings of guilt, grief and anger. Guilt because of all that Jeanette was able to do for my mother, that she feels she couldn't do for Jeanette. More guilt because she spoke to Jeanette last week and she probably thinks that she could have done something to change it. Grief because my Jeanette played a large and important role in my mother's life - friend, support, mentor, antagonist, and many more that I'll probably never understand. And finally anger - at Jeanette (for suiciding), at the world in general (three days before she was found) and probably a host of other people.

Jeanette was a lot of things to a lot of people (what a banal thing to say) and she played various roles in my life as I grew up. I was really struck by how far she'd come when I last met her. Her experiences had shaped her into a fiercely independant woman who never hesitated to share her worldview. I knew that she was a loyal friend and source of support for my mother, but I never expected that her vehement (and wonderful) loyalty and friendship would extend to me.

It was nice to have contact her her as an adult (as opposed to the very different relationship we had when I was growing up a military brat). It was wonderful to see her support of issues I would never have expected - gay rights, indigenous people, the disabled and infirm.

I hope that, wherever she is, she has found real peace.

The other side

2007-12-04T07:43:00.000+11:00

At last!

November is over, summer is here (not that you could tell with the rain), and I'm starting to get my life back. I even had a whole day to myself on the weekend! The last couple of days have been nice - I even managed to capitalise on the Spring Lurve phenomena (on the last day of spring, but, as my mother used to say, 'better late than pregnant'). RR is a lovely guy, and we seem to have hit it off rather well. We're having dinner tonight (his place - he's cooking) and it's all a little bit, well...lovely.

Saturday was, of course, World AIDS Day, and saw me reading names at the Candlelight Memorial in Hyde Park. The numbers were lower than previous years, with rain threatening, but it was still a lovely ceremony. It was slightly more resonant for me with Ian's passing a couple of weeks ago, and I got a bit teary after hearing the names of two mates (from a couple of Jason's ago) whom I hadn't realised had died. I found Ian's funeral hard because it highlighted his own isolation during the last years of his life, and standing at the memorial service I wondered and hoped that my old mates didn't leave this world in the same way. And of course, being exhausted didn't help my resilience.

Sunday. A day to myself without obligation or organisational commitment! It was glorious! There was a sorely needed sleep in, invocation of the domestic goddess (wherein I threw an awesome tantrum at the vacuum cleaner for being a piece of crap) and a trip to the Royal National Park and a swim at the beach. It's wonderful coming back to a normal life after being really busy; the motivation to fill your time with good vibe life stuff is matched by a sense of efficiency and purpose.

So the gauntlet is almost completely run, and now I can look forward to being tired for other, more social, reasons. Which is the way it should be.

Brer Jason

2007-11-28T15:50:00.000+11:00

Please, whatever you do, DON'T CLICK THIS LINK! I won't be held responsible if you do. BUT SERIOUSLY, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!!1! It is the most revolting thing I've seen on the interwebs AND YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN STILL BE READING THIS. JUST DON'T CLICK HERE, OKAY?

2007-11-26T16:47:00.000+11:00

I'm sorry for the abbreviated blog posts of late; but despite the amount of time I spend at a computer, blogging has had to assume a lower priority than it probably should. In brief, I'm fabulously busy and bone-crushingly, soul-destroyingly tired. Only two more weeks to go (and in a sense the load has lightened a little already). By this time next week, I should be able to catch up on some urgently needed sleep and do some life stuff (housework, laundry, pull my weight - that kind of thing) and then it's my last AGM.

Howard's End

2007-11-25T09:34:00.000+11:00

The lying, little bastard is finally gone. That is all.

Vale Ian Thompson

2007-11-15T12:10:00.000+11:00

Finally - what you've all been waiting for...

2007-11-13T14:40:00.000+11:00

Photo proof of Herpe the Love Bug!!!

Crikey!

2007-11-10T18:57:00.001+11:00

In Broadway shopping centre, there is one of the more macabre (and twisted) child rides I have ever seen... It's Steve Irwin and a friendly crocodile, ready to take your coin and make your child happy for all of two minutes...

Obviously, they modelled Steve's facial expression on a blow-up doll. And don't tell me that the crocodile isn't considering it either!

Bah! Humbug!

2007-11-10T18:53:00.000+11:00

Alas poor Santa, I knew him well...

2007-11-07T12:19:00.000+11:00

As I mentioned earlier in my blog, I was in Coffs Harbour for a work forum thing, but took the opportunity to spend some time with the family while I was up there. This was the first time that I'd seen my parents since Dad went to (and completed) Rehab. I'll admit that this was cause for some anxiety.

Firstly, I'd kept any interaction with Dad to a minimum since he went in; and think I will continue to do so (without being rude). Secondly, though I was staying with my family; I wouldn't say that we're close. Far from it. Like most people, I find spending time with the family to be disproportionately stressful (small stimulus generates a very large response). This comes down to a lot of things; but I think for me the major factor is that my family aren't my friends. In fact it's probably fairer to say that I'm not friends with my family (with the exception of my sister). Of course, there are other factors which add to the predictable awkward; such as our history (as a family unit), mood disorders, and other more mundane behaviours.

The combination of these two factors led to a third. With Dad so freshly out of rehab, I assumed that the house would be 'dry'. It's not a silly assumption to make; after all, why tempt the alcoholic? I figured that I would have to take 'a walk' to get away from the stress and chill (have a beer).

(Un)fortunately, the first thing I noted on arrival was the presence of alcohol. In fact, Dad is still drinking. Unsuprisingly, I found the assurances from Dad that it was only one or two light beers unconvincing. What I found far more disturbing is that after six weeks in rehab, Dad's take home message was "I can't be expected to go straight to abstinence".

I'm assuming that the person who told him this was another client of the rehab facility. It can't possibly have been staff. Could it? WTF?

Finding the silver lining, I realised that this meant that I could have a drink. The obvious cloud of course, is that Dad is still drinking. Whilst I know what I think about this, I'm frustratingly unsure of the best course of action. As I mentioned, I'm not close to my family; I don't necessarily have a big enough stake in their lives to throw the tantrum or be the voice of reason which causes distress. That being said, I need to keep some very clear boundaries in place; and I need to let Dad especially know that they're there.

I came to the conclusion that my brief stays (one night before the forum, one night after) weren't enough time to do anything properly. Maybe I'm being conflict avoidant (though I doubt it); though I did try and start a conversation with Dad around my discomfort (another stunning example of frustrated discourse.

Coming home from Coffs, I had another startling realisation. Saturday night last weekend was my first night without a drink in (I think) eleven. My first thought after that realisation was 'it's okay, I don't get drunk' - however, my tolerance is in fine form, and six beers doesn't touch the sides at the moment. My third thought (my second thought was 'that's an alcoholic's excuse) was 'I only drink socially, and I can go a night without booze without a problem'.

Of course, when you re-read my entry, you'll realise that I frequently use socialising as a stress management strategy, and I tend to do this kind of socialising in pubs.

Do I honestly think I'm an alcoholic? No, not at the moment. Whilst I drink more than the new recommended intake (two standard drinks or less per day) a couple of nights a week on average; I think I'm still under the old guidelines (on average). It's a concern and a familial tendancy that I've already noted. So maybe I'm okay because I'm continually asking if it's a problem.

Apache Vs Sneaky Sound System: Pictures (Tonite Only Remix)

2007-11-03T14:13:00.001+11:00

I found this by accident (don't ask) - it's...mesmerising.

Home. Sweeeeeet. Home.

2007-11-02T10:12:00.000+11:00

Got back in last night from Coffs. Glad to be back.

In more important news, I've already arranged my first must-do for the Sydney Festival. I'm going to be a willing participant of Haircuts By Children on Sunday 2o January. Should be a hoot. I'll try and capture many photos to document the experience.

How much do you trust a ten year old? Enough to let one give you a haircut?
This January, ten year olds will be offering the public free haircuts at salons in Parramatta and Darlinghurst. After a team of children participate in a series of training workshops with local professional stylists, you are invited to get a free haircut. A trim or a totally new look - it's entirely up to you and your young stylist.A whimsical performance that playfully engages with the enfranchisement of children, Haircuts by Children pits our trust in the younger generation against the thrills and chills of vanity.
Named after the self-preservation technique triggered in extreme situations, Canadian company Mammalian Diving Reflex creates experiences of alternative encounters between individuals which are entertaining, political and provocative.

New technology and stuff

2007-10-26T09:44:00.000+10:00

I forgot to mention that my mobile finally died, and I decided to get a new phone AND a new number. So you may want to contact me at some point and update details (I probably won't have yours as most of the numbers I had were saved on the phone, not the sim card).

And I'm spruiking suggestions for new ringtones. Any ideas?

Oi Vey

2007-10-26T09:30:00.000+10:00

Apologies for the absence of posts; I've been keeping myself busy (but not necessarily out of trouble). Here's hoping a couple of dot points will act as a sufficient catch up...

Sexual health conference was good (but light on content), there were several highlights, but I think that Herpe the Love Bug certainly takes the cake (one of the drug companies advertised one of their drugs for genital herpes by purchasing a new Volkswagen beetle (one of the new ones), covering it with ads for their drug and getting the number plate "HERPE". I think it will probably be in Lindsay Lohan's next movie or something.
Caught up with DB, RM and OR afterwards up in Brisbane. I don't have much to say about the drunken times that eventuated except maybe "No Judgy Wudgy!"
I've been very busy at work since then; except where I'm taking JS off the garden path. Hehehe.

It's still really busy here, and I head off tomorrow morning to another conference. I will try and post more in the near future...

XXXX Black

2007-10-12T09:56:00.001+10:00

Oh god! Why? Soooo fucking hungover.

God hates me.

Two nights at the theatre and a little travel

2007-10-06T08:38:00.000+10:00

I'm hurriedly getting ready to head off to (hopefully) the last PLWHA Strategic Planning meeting this morning. My room is a bit of a bombshell, as I rush to pack a suitcase so that I can fly up to the Gold Coast tonight. And my head is full of theatre goodness.

I went and saw Mercury Fur on Thursday night. OMFG!! It is, without any hyperbole, one of the best shows I have EVER seen. Definitely in my top three (and I've seen a LOT of shows). It's not an easy experience, I found it very challenging and confronting; there's a lot of violence, both implied and enacted, and the subject matter is disturbingly resonant. At one point, I found myself wanting to get up and walk out (fortunately I was distracted by three people in the front row doing just that - which hardened my resolve). After the play JS, RP and I sat around a bar in Kings Cross and I felt eyes watering as my brain kept playing with what I'd seen. I don't want to ruin the play for people, except to encourage people to see it. It's not the easiest show to sit through - it's the same kind of 'entertainment' as Requiem for a Dream or Dancer in the Dark, but it's just phenomenal.

Last night I caught Holding the Man. I have to be honest and say that I didn't like the book; I didn't like the style and what the dishonest honesty. I'd hoped the play might be an improvement on the book, and it had rec'd generally great reviews. My stance on the play, particularly the second act was the same as Lucy's (BORG!!1!). Holding the Man is a much easier show to see, and I'll admit that I didn't notice the passing of time very much in this show; so it is involving. But it's not clever, and some scenes are downright 'trite' and almost crude in their conception. I think what really irks me about the book and the play is that they reduce the character of John (the protagonist's lover) to a two-dimensional presence, a prop, in the story.

Long Weekend in Review

2007-10-03T14:41:00.001+10:00

It's Wednesday and I'm chilling out at home. And what day to chill - it's currently 34 degrees outside (possibly worse at my desk at work with the airconditioning not working). Indolence has suited me the last couple of days, and the weekend has been lovely.

Saturday night was Sleaze Ball, and what a party. I wasn't overly enthusiastic about the party itself, and was working the time-out room at the beginning, but the production values, crowd etc were wonderful. Of course, it wouldn't be a party without a drama, and this party saw me waiting in Emergency at Sydney Hospital for around two hours (I cut my thumb setting up the Time Out room and needed to get it stitched). Once that was done, I was back at the party by two am and having a great old time. I may have pulled the stitch in my thumb dancing, but it seems okay now, and is healing quite nicely.

Back into the office tomorrow, and heading up north for a conference on Saturday night. Life will be busy again all too soon. I guess it must be time for my afternoon nap.

From BoingBoing: Look Around You - Brain

2007-10-02T17:59:00.001+10:00

A wonderful parody of those seventies science videos! A bit long, but entirely worth it.

Fighting Giraffes - Excellent Footage

2007-09-28T09:58:00.001+10:00

I always pictured giraffes as peaceful critters. Now I am truly scared!

Some good news...

2007-09-25T11:42:00.001+10:00

New blood test results are in; and the news is good. I was a bit concerned this time around after being unwell a couple of weeks ago - for a couple of days I couldn't actually eat, and I don't think I was absorbing my meds properly for about five days. Fortunately, no resistance appears to have developed (it was the optimal setting for it to occur) and my viral load is once again undetectable. My CD4 count is relatively stable at 510 (we like that) and it appears that I've finally got immunity to Hepatitis A (this is my third round of Hep vaccinations - the other two didn't take).

All in all some good numbers made slightly more poignant after reflecting on some previous blog posts. In 04/05, my CD4's were cruising between 200 and 300 and my health was obviously far worse. Looking back, most of my big improvements (in health) seem to have occurred over the last twelve months. I'll have to try and get copies of my bloods for the last five or so years and plot a graph and post it up here for more evidence based reflection.

Evidence for the existence of a disgruntled employee

2007-09-25T08:57:00.000+10:00

Check out the logo!

Nostalgic cartoon glory

2007-09-25T07:29:00.000+10:00

Many of you remember G-Force, the superhero team from Battle of the Planets (a Japanese cartoon hideously redubbed and edited for Western audiences - it was originally called Gatchaman). Apparently, there are plans afoot to make a CG-animated movie! (It's not just Michael Bay who cashes in on cartoon nostalgia glory).

All together now - "TRANSMUTE!"

International Day of Suspecting Transvestism

2007-09-24T07:44:00.000+10:00

Sorry for the late notice but last Friday was the International Day of Suspecting Transvestism. NeattiiCat and I worked diligently on promotional materials, unfortunately beer o'clock interupted circulation. I've included them below for your reference.

I had a bit of fun with mine, using an image of Ann Coulter - for those of you unfamiliar with her, I suggest you check out the wikipedia entry here.

I had a day off yesterday and it was divine!

Strength of Will...

2007-09-19T15:28:00.000+10:00

...is not normally a trait one would associate with me. But yesterday, after finding out that a bank would lend me money to buy a new car, I went out to 'test drive' a car or two. Wherein I made the reasonable and sensible decision to see if I could put aside the car payment now BEFORE I finalised a loan contract, with a view to buying in a couple of months.

It's not much I know, but for me it's a quite a phenomenal change.

2007-09-19T09:06:00.000+10:00

More comics and AIDS

2007-09-18T14:05:00.000+10:00

From politedissent.com

Free time!

2007-09-18T13:45:00.001+10:00

My Sunday meeting, which was planned to take up a good four or so hours, was cancelled today. This unexpected turn of events means that I have a full day off! Hurrah! Whatever will I do with it?

In other news, a spontaneous decision to apply for a car loan was approved. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted - I could quit smoking (for real this time) and that would be bulk of the payment for the loan. I'm quite chuffed actually, I've come a long way since fcuking up my credit rating over five years ago.

RIP Robert Jordan

2007-09-17T13:34:00.001+10:00

Robert Jordan, author of the Wheel of Time series of novels, died today at 2:45PM (somewhere in the States). Jordan was diagnosed with amyloidosis whilst writing the final novel in the Wheel of Time series (book thirteen) leaving it incomplete.

Whilst my thoughts go out to his family, particularly his wife Harriet - who will probably attempt to finish the book, I'm already grieving for the countless hours I spent reading, re-reading and generally obsessing over these books for the last fifteen years.

RAHVIN!!!1!!!

EDIT: Ahhh, the benefit of hindsight. And a blog that lasts FOREVER!

Comics and AIDS

2007-09-17T12:34:00.000+10:00

A winning combination!

The Machine Elves told me to

2007-09-16T08:25:00.000+10:00

It's a gorgeous spring weekend in Sydney, with clear blue skies and sun bright enough to give sunburn. We didn't have much of a winter here, with only a couple of weeks of weather that 'felt' cold enough to require heaters (though I'm sure it wasn't even that cold). Reality aside, most denizens of Sydney seem to be disparately affected by a form of Seasonal Affective Disorder akin to Mass Hysteria.

Over the last couple of weeks, small talk (which invariably hits the weather in one way or another) has almost always gotten around to the desire for just a bit more sun to clear the gloom away. Consistently, people have reflected on some internal need to get that solar shock to kick their mood up; and the anticipation has driven this particular awareness into the communal forebrain.

So here we are, the weekend of metereological xanax has come, and despite my hectic schedule, I'm smiling gently to myself typing away at a blog. Of course, it helps that the consensus of elevated mood was present last night at RS's farewell, where I caught up with many a fine Revuer. It was a good crowd, and the good cheer was infectious and was followed up by minor domestic lunacy.

And a special shout out to YP who reads these bits and pieces (through my RSS feed to facebook); writing nonsense is one thing, but an appreciative audience is another!

And pause...

2007-09-13T21:17:00.000+10:00

I will be going non-stop for the next four weeks, with only one day off sector related work (a public holiday) anticipated. This will probably result in disruption to my blogging so you'll just have to abide with some patience. I hope to have some level of normal function for a couple of weeks in October before resuming a hellish pace up until the second week of December. Consider me (suitably) distracted.

Alice in Wonderland (Disney) - Unbirthday Party (Complete)

2007-09-12T11:46:00.001+10:00

I love this scene in particular, and figured that we could all do with a bit of a mid week cheer!

Ican'thascheezburger?

2007-09-07T12:42:00.000+10:00

I've been a bit unwell for the last week; nothing too serious, I've been getting to work, but enough to make me uncomfortable. One symptom however, seems determined to stay with me - profound food linked nausea. I'm still confined to eating whatever plain bread I can keep down and water. At first it was amusing that I couldn't enjoy some of my favourite things - fatty, salty foods and beer come to mind; and I have to admit that I'm enjoying the 'accidental' weight loss.

But now it's getting really boring. I think (and Robot concurs) that I must have lost at least four kilos since Saturday last week. And I'm missing out on drinking away the APEC long weekend. At least I'm not spending money.

International Day of Accidental Cruising

2007-09-05T15:31:00.000+10:00

With thanks to Sen. Craig

Life with aNeaTTii Cat!!

2007-09-03T18:01:00.000+10:00

I love my friend Anita. Together, we get into all forms of mischief. Even when we're not together geographically. Between us, we create the marvellous and wonderful materials that you may occasionally see for various 'International Days'. In fact, stay tuned, as we have a special International Day coming up this Wednesday.

I like to think that I fulfill I special advisory role for Anita, particularly with regard to her use of the written word. I'm like her own personal guru for all things grammar and (written) style. She's my guru for all things style (she knew about the Gucci Crocodile Skin Spanker - Winter 2003, created by Tom Ford before he left).

Here's a recent email exchange highlighting how we work which I am blogging because she told me to.

From: PAVIC, Anita [mailto:Anita.Pxxxxx@xxx.xxx.xxx.au](yes, Anita is a porn star; all that triple x action)
Sent: Monday, 3 September 2007 1:48 PM
To: Jason Appleby
Subject: Dot point
If I am writing dot points
Just say, I have five dot points. After each dot point, I am ending the sentence with a ";" Does that mean the last dot point should end with a full stop?

From: Jason Appleby [mailto:JApplebyafao.org.au]
Sent: Monday, 3 September 2007 1:15 PM
To: PAVIC, Anita
Subject: RE: Dot point
You don't need to use the semi colon BUT IF YOU DO you should think of these useful points:

it's a form that's slowly losing currency;
just before the end you shouldn't forget the "and" plus a comma; and,
the last one definitely finishes with a full stop.

Planning for the New Year

2007-09-01T10:24:00.000+10:00

Just bought my tix for my favourite party of the year - Tropical Fruits NYE. Hotel is booked too (booked on 2 Jan this year), so all I have to do now is get through the next couple of months (which are going to be ridiculously busy) and then I can treat myself to another holiday.

Let's hope that the zen sticks around till then.

A short entry

2007-08-31T13:09:00.000+10:00

It looks like I'll be heading to the Australiasian Sexual Health Conference in early October this year. This year the conference is called "Venus and Mars at Jupiters". You may get the Venus and Mars part, the Jupiters is reference to the venue - Jupiter's Casino on the Gold Coast. Lame jokes and puns abound in medical conferences.

Let me give you another example. There's an abstract presentation on the Monday afternoon titled "Vulvovaginal Candidiasis in Australia: let's Take a Look 'Down Under' ". Yeah. Great.

Of course according to the program, this presentation is being held in a stream titled "Women's Health 'Venus' ". Obviously this ties the entire stream in with the witty title of the conference. Women's Health 'Venus' is being held alongside a different stream titled "MSM 'Mars' ". For those of you who don't know the acronym, MSM stands for Men who have Sex with Men. I would have thought that a better planetary title for this group would have been 'Uranus', but I guess I'm not as witty as the conference organisers.

Catch up post

2007-08-30T09:37:00.000+10:00

Apologies for the late posting, it's been a busy couple of weeks heralding a busy couple of months. I'm grateful that I had (and took) the chance to get away, have my holiday and get zen when I did. Alongside my paid work for AFAO, I've got a lot of work to do for the Strat. Planning process for PLWHA(NSW) (I'm vice-president of their Board), most of it is just time-heavy (meetings, etc).

So the weekend before last saw me, my fellow board members and the CEO of PLWHA heading out of town for a full weekend Board Retreat. I get on really well with the board, and B. is one of my closest friends; but I'll admit that I was dreading it. The retreat was held out past St Albans (on the other side of Wiseman's Ferry) at a venue that marketed itself more as a romantic retreat. And we were there all weekend to talk about Strat. Planning. No mobile reception. No internet. No distractions. At least we were warned to bring our own grog.

Fortunately, my fears weren't realised. The weekend went really well, and though I spent the weekend with a bunch of guys I wouldn't normally spend a time with (outside of community stuff), there was fun and comraderie.

In addition, my involvement in Strat Planning process takes me full circle in terms of my engagement with PLWH/A. I originally ran for the board because I wasn't happy with the first Strategic Plan (back in 2003). It's been interesting, and valuable, for me to reflect on my three years on the board and how I've changed etc.

After the weekend, I had a ridiculously productive week at work. I was unwell prior to taking my holiday, and with the kidney stones afterwards I didn't have a chance to finish up all the bits and pieces that should have been done a month ago. They're done now, and plenty of other work besides.

Last Friday was our housewarming, where people learnt valuable lessons. (Such as don't let Jason mix your drinks UNLESS you want to get really drunk, really fast; or for others, don't attend a party you're not welcome to) Much fun was had, though cleaning up the next day was very...challenging. It think we still have a couple of feathers here and there from Ms Victoria's enemble.

This week at work is much quieter, allowing me to get other stuff done and catch up on life stuff. I'm anticipating a quiet weekend ahead (I'm not known for my prescience however) and maybe a spot of urban gardening.

Crystals - not always fun and painless

2007-08-15T21:26:00.000+10:00

Wow! It's certainly been an interesting week. Due to probable dehydration, I ended up with kidney stones. In a word: uncomfortable.

Splendid Birthdays and Zen

2007-08-10T13:12:00.000+10:00

It's been a great week, and as a result my brain is delightfully zen. The area around Byron (but not necessarily Byron itself) is one of my favourite places in the world (given that I haven't left Australia, I'm sure that there's room for change). It wasn't until I got back into Sydney on Tuesday (my birthday) that I realised how much stress and tension I'd been living "in". My rage threshold has increased dramatically (meaning I need to get stressed out more before I start getting all Hulk-like) to the point where I haven't really rage yet. This includes my forty-five minute late shuttle bus and a couple of days in Sydney.

With regards the festival itself, it was great. Admittedly, I'm not obsessed about music, particularly rock, I get more into the feel of festivals. And Splendour in the Grass has a fantastic vibe about it (probably as a result of needing to take a holiday to get there and enjoy it). My favourite Splendour moment wasn't about the music at all, instead it was catching sight of ANOTHER munted midget. That brings my total to two, in less than a quarter of a year! Maybe this is the year of the drug-fucked dwarf?

So here I am, last day of my holiday, back at work on Monday and starting off my thirtieth year (turned 29=thirtieth year). I'm not sure that I've learned much, except maybe that the crack pipe isn't always the answer, and neither is inserting the cocktail fork into the power point.

I probably won't post again for a couple of days, so enjoy a couple of my favourite photos from the week here